Top 10 Lists

I've been thinking about making a top ten list - just like everyone else.

After thinking of the Top Song of the year ["Rehab" by defiant druggy Amy Winehouse] and Top Gadget [iPhone], talk turned to the Top Viral Video and other more interesting topics... like top ten political blunders [Larry Craig, I'm tappin' your foot!] , and top ten stupid things that I wish I hadn't done this year [eaten at that
hotel bar right before Thanksgiving].

‘Hybrid’ bests 'Surge' as Top Word of 2007; ‘Climate Change’ is Top Phrase; Al Gore’ is Top Name; Top Smiley is ?-) for ‘pirate’ *sigh, boorrringgg....

I'm thinking, instead, of making a list of the 10 things I'm looking forward to in '08! That's unique. Can't say I've seen a lot of that.

But, I'm not looking forward to the election, or the dumb Olympics, or any of that - and I have a lot of personal goals that probably shouldn't be aired out like laundry on the line...

Be looking for this kind of work the next couple of days -

Fun with Editsz

2006 "Casino Royale" opening credits overdubbed with original 1967 Herb Alpert "Casino Royale" theme

Ultra Obscure Music

Yesterday I was stuck in traffic less than a mile from my house... again. I was listening to NPR (National Palestinian Radio) because it was that sliver of time between pledge drives and the cheerful but nasal traffic report and mixed in with weather. Traffic and weather in Chicago are as cosmically intertwined as the ying and yang in their constant battle for dominance.

The story begins with the music critic explaining how many credentials he has, and how much smarter he is than, well, just about everyone on the planet. His tastes are so refined - he's the kind of guy that no matter what you enjoy, you're not only wrong, you're a moron for even thinking of that band you like. He opens up with this about his subject, Jandek: (follow the link to hear the story yourself)

(out of tune guitar, singing?) Jandek's music isn't for everyone. It's what New York Times and Rolling Stone music critic and author Douglas Wolk calls "very dark, half-decomposed blues."

"It's like somebody making music from a description of what songs are without ever actually having heard any. You listen to those sounds on his records and you think, (more out of tune, something? rambling)
'What is this? How did he make this? What does it mean that he made this?"

Proving once again that no matter how hip you and your massive collection of music think you are - you are still a plebeian. And it got me thinking, if your tastes in music, and you 8 minute music review begins like this - how the hell did you a) get this job in the first place, b) continue to keep this job?

Now, I'm not saying that you have to worship the Billboard charts and be a regular watcher of Star Search - wait, they changed the name of that show... it's, oh yeah- American Idol. I don't want a music critic to hail the greatness of Michael McDonald or Christopher Cross. But I also don't want them to be so completely out of the mainstream that the only way you can get the record you're reviewing is to go to the guy's house and record it yourself! Is that how bad the music scene is right now? We're only reviewing ultra-obscure artists who refuse to be videotaped or even interviewed?

Oh yeah, that was the other thing about this 8 minute nugget on NPR - they didn't even talk to the guy! He's an aloof musician. He scorns the spotlight.... I think I know why - Except for five people in Scotland and his mom - guess what?! There isn't a spotlight on this guy!

Oh, hold on. Don't hit the comments section yet - Sure, the DJ at your college radio station loves this guy. The guy at the Vinyl Record shop (the one that's barely in business, even though there's a Best Buy right next to him in the mini-mall) That guy has all 51 of his albums delivered straight from Corwood Industries PO Box. And, as I mentioned, some people in Scotland have seen him live. That's super. My point is that Jandek is more than obscure - and even the review opens that it's hard to listen to his 'music'. I think - now hold on here - maybe... it IS hard to listen to? Perhaps, maybe, it is not good? The point of the article was 'fame' - and how not being famous means you've failed in America. Uh huh. And, perhaps making tunes that people cannot listen to means you failed could have been another Point to Consider? I also realized they hadn't played much of his 'music' in the 8 minute piece which to me, validated my thought on the matter.

I had been thinking about writing an article to discuss the Radiohead 'In Rainbows' internet experiment to release a record via MP3 to the fans - and how that album's pricing is based on whatever you want to pay for it. The idea would be to 'sample' the record, at whatever price you the consumer/fan felt was fair market price. Obviously, eventually, the songs will be pressed into CD format - and sold at a box store for the low low price of $10-19, depending if you shop at the mall or the guy in the record store. I'm sure someone better suited and with pie charts already has written about it...

There's been speculation that more than 2/3 the people who downloaded the Radiohead album didn't pay. They didn't steal it. They just spent 0.00 Pounds on it. Would you rather they stole it? Instead, the band has a list of everyone's email address - and you can bet the next time they come into your town, you'll be getting an email to come see them in concert. And even someone who doesn't know who Jandek is knows that concerts are where bands make their money.

David Bowie knows this. The Rolling Stones know it. And any classic band that has 'suddenly put aside their personal and creative differences to reunite and tour' in the last couple years might have figured it out too. I ask a question then. Isn't a CD just a promotional tool to get you to see a concert? Once Radiohead tours next, they'll have proved it too.

Which brings me to another point I really wanted to write an entire article on - if the RIAA says that putting music from a CD onto your computer - a CD you own, mind you - is 'illegal' why do the record companies sell CD's to libraries? I can't seem to get a good answer from them on that one. Libraries are their best customers BTW. When the music industry settled the price fixing/ anti-trust scandal in 2004, schools and libraries were the recipients of most of the $75 million settlement. The settlement? Oh, a box of about 50 Whitney Houston CD's. More of a dump than donation, perhaps? It also shows that the industry knows exactly who their customers are.

I also can't get someone to explain to me, even with the best PowerPoint Presentation, how the Lord of the Rings DVD box set is cheaper than the Lord of the Rings Soundtrack - And that's a soundtrack for just the first one of those movies? (see for yourself!)

The music I like? Perhaps I'll get around to making a top ten that I cut'npaste from somebody else's top ten. When I do, you'll know darn well there will be at least 3 Jandek records, a Phil Collins reissue, a Wilco, Shins, a Panda Bear and the Animal Collective and at least one Hannah Montana thrown in for good measure. Yeah. There are TWO Hannah Montana albums!

Star Wars Toys I Never Got

I had a huge collection of Star Wars stuff when I was a kid.
I'm the only one on the block who actually owned the troop transport that escaped Hoth.
Yeah, it was pretty lame.
But I had most of the figures, and only half of them were ruined by playing with them outside.

But every once in a while, you hear about the prototypes of the figures that didn't make the cut, or were just to expensive to build. Luckily, because of the inter-net-tubes I've just found some other Classic Star Wars toys that weren't released by Kenner.

Let's start with the playsets:
The Planet Alderaan Playset
Sure it's just a box of rocks.... but, it's the Planet Alderaan! You could throw pieces of it at the Millennium Falcon as it came out of hyperspace!

And had it gone into production, they could have re-packaged it as the Asteroid Belt from the chase sequence in Empire - again, throwing rocks at your Millennium Falcon!

Smoldering Skywalker Ranch
This is playset catapults two different journeys in the Saga - but we see this 'battle damaged' version showcases the only time Imperial Stormtroopers ever hit anything. Two elderly civilians! Speaking of....

Leave it to the profiteering of George Lucas - Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen's corpses could have easily fit into one package, however, instead were to be sold as a two pack. I guess when it came down to these two or two versions of Snagletooth, the fun and excitement of a loitering alcoholic possum-face action figure was just tipped the scales?

Now, I would have asked for about 100 of these dead Ewok figures in 1983! Apparently, this figure would have represented the only casualty that the Rebels even had in the Battle of Endor? Well, we can't have that. So, this figure was never made.
This one got nixed because I guess George had that whole midichlorian nonsense figured out back in 1978? He sure didn't want to spoil the surprise of how the Force is actually:

microscopic life-forms that reside within the cells of almost all living things and communicate with the Force. Midi-chlorians compose a collective consciousness and intelligence, forming links between everything living and the Force. They are symbionts with all other living things; that is, without them, life could not exist. The Jedi have learned how to listen to and coordinate the midi-chlorians. If they quiet their minds, they can hear the midi-chlorians speaking to them, telling them the will of the Force.

No, thankfully he waited 20 years for that nugget. Still - the could have re-used the mold for the Holy Spirit action figure for Kenner's less successful Deity line. The Mohammad figure really caused a stir!

Thanks to http://www.mcmorran.org/pages.php?page_id=15 for the pictures.

Sucky X-mas