The Best Movies of '07

It is time. The paper is everywhere. The toys are already broken. There aren't any batteries for those that aren't.

Yep. Time for a pretentious look at the "Best Things" that have gone on in the last 360 some odd days. More likely than not, you were too busy - or didn't give a rip - the first 360. Maybe you've got another long weekend coming up? Maybe you want to look like a smart ass at the New Years Eve party to some hot drunk thing? What the hell do I know?

I know this: Lists of Things sell magazines.

Maybe a list of useless knowledge - you may have noticed, I've got a lot of that! - in a list form on Blasphemes will somehow catapult us past the Huffington Post?

Who cares. Here's a list for ya':
Important Films (not seen)

Angel-A
Opened May 25th, 2007
Directed by Luc Besson

The guy who did Fifth Element. Yeah.
So it's in black and white? Its about a guy who and there are some morals in it. It's in Paris - they probably speak some French or something? First time I heard about it. Today. While researching this list.

I have a feeling there might be a reason I never heard of it - what'a think?


The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Opened September 21st, 2007
Directed by Andrew Dominik

Brad Pitt in a Jesse James deal - but not playing Jesse James. I hear it looks great - which to anyone other than a Cinematographer ought to read as "boring as paint drying."


Death at a Funeral
Opened August 17th, 2007
Directed by Frank Oz

It's Mrs. Piggy! Bert! He made a movie! Cool. It's about dead British people? Uh, yeah! I'm running out to see this.

Grindhouse
Opened April 6th, 2007
Directed by Robert Rodriguez & Quentin Tarantino

I know. Like you I wanted to see this. Couldn't get the change or the time to get to the theater. Also - a little scared of the crowd who could get the change and the time to see this. Thought it'd be best to wait until DVD. It'd be tough to keep my drink on for the 3 hour plus run time of this thing. Funny though. It's on DVD now, and I still haven't seen it. But dude, if you did go, good for you. But judging by the numbers - you're the only one who made it out.

I'm Not There
Directed by Todd Haynes

Six people as Bob Dylan - including Cate Blanchett - I'm not there either.


The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Opened August 17th, 2007
Directed by Seth Gordon

Documentary about Donkey Kong - and the people who are still playing it. It's enchanting, so I've read. I like Donkey Kong as much as the other guy. I even played it at a bar - not that long ago too. However, I'm not trying to beat the world record in Donkey Kong. Not in 1980, and especially not in 2007. It seems that this limited release has a limited audience too. The epic battle for Donkey Kong high score, today? In 2007? Guys, might want to check into World of Warcraft, okay? As far as this doc goes, I think I'll just keep my quarters, thanks.


The Lookout
Opened March 30th, 2007
Directed by Scott Frank

Now this I did see. That guy who was in Brick is the lead character - you know - the kid from that 3rd Rock sitcom? It's a Memento meets, ah, um - it's a little Fargo, with uh - Memento - But it's not Memento - it's more like... it's a heist movie with a Memento-ish kind-of character. And there's some stuff in between!

I'm not selling it. It was good. It's just a really hard movie to sell.

Sunshine
Opened July 20th, 2007
Directed by Danny Boyle

I love Danny Boyle, man. I love his work. Even the kid movie Millions - I dig the way he tells a story, his look and everything. But something about this idea that the sun is all burnt out and its up to this rag-tag-crew of misfits to re-ignite it. er, Yeah?

Another one of those "Looks great" comments there...


Here's a couple others that are on 'Top Ten lists'. Have a pretty good feeling this is the first time you're hearing of them too.

Across the Universe - People either love it or hate it. It's the Beatles music in visual form. For example: "I want hold your hand" tenderly expresses the feelings of a lesbian cheerleader - oh. Can't believe I haven't seen this!

The Kite Runner - Pre-war Afghanistan - hold on - about a boy who was molested? Next! (Expect this to win buckets of Oscars.)

Away from Her - love Sarah Polley - she's not in it, she directed it. Bummer. It's about Alzheimer's. Double bummer. Next.

La Vie en Rose French. Next.

Juno - This is basically Knocked Up, but for the 'smart' people. You know - snobs!

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - Out of the cineplex before anyone heard about it. It's got Phillip Seymour Hoffman in it. Brant from Big Liebowski. Man, I wish that guy could get more work. It seems like no one has ever heard of this guy.

Atonement - or English Paint Drying in Mansion. Unless Keira Knightley is naked in it, it will be forever missed, as the love of the family groundskeeper keeping a terrible secret all in the backdrop of WWII - not kidding.

Great Debaters - Denzel is smart. This title to his movie is dumb. South Park should do an episode making fun of this. Oh, I'm sure it's great! I am dumb.

Movies I really WANTED to see, never got around to it:

Once - Groovy date movie. A Dublin street musician meets a hot Czech chick - and they make beautiful music together. Yeah, corny gag -- apparently this is fantastic.

Into the Wild - Sean Penn directed the story of Christopher McCandless, an idealistic young man who fought against the grain of the 'system' and became one with nature. Kind of the same way as Timothy Treadwell from Grizzly Man. Nah, I'm really simplifying this amazing story for a laugh. I friggin' loved this book! I wanted to make this movie myself. I wanted to be Chris McCandless until I sold out and started typing this blog. Every kid should read this instead of Catcher in the Rye. I hope the film lives up to the book.

Best Movie of 2007, that I really DID see, and told you people to see too. Hope you did too:
No Country For Old Men.

This really is one of the best movies I've seen in a long, long time.