Form Letter from Christ

AN OPEN HOLIDAY LETTER FROM JESUS
Dictated to : Max Burbank

Hey, everybody;

It's me. Jesus. You know, Lamb of God and all. Sorry I haven't been in touch in a while, things have been crazy, you know how it is. Dad says hi.

I just thought I'd write and wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I know that's not as fashionable as it should be, maybe I'm supposed to say 'happy holidays', but I think it's okay to say 'Merry Christmas' to everyone. You don't have to be a Christian, you don't have to believe I'm divine, all I'm doing is wishing you well. And just so we're clear, personally? I think putting a nativity on public property is pushy. Plus, it's a little embarrassing. You know how it is when company you barely know comes over and your mom hauls out your baby album? It's like that.

Anyway, to me this is a special time of year, and I just thought I'd take the time to remind you that while I'm sure I said a lot of things that got written down and translated a lot of different ways, what I really meant was 'Be as nice as you can to other people'. And then try harder. Stretch a little. Even people you don't like. Actually especially people you don't like, because, come on, if it's hard for you to be nice to the people you like, you're already in trouble, right? That's the important stuff. And I just feel, at this time of year, that's the message I really want to get out. 'Cause it's my birthday.

Happy Xmas.

Good night and God Bless,

Jesus
Wonderful Counselor.
Everlasting Father.
Prince of Peace.